I respond to various things: #2

This is a post from a misogynist, ableist, classist and fatphobic One True Way-er on a BDSM site. I’m using asterisks instead of quotes because they’re used for italics on the site and it will take ages to change them all.

*Now, Women are free to post their two cents here. But understand as you read this dear and gentle reader, that I am making this post as a Man speaking to Men. Thus I am speaking to them as Men do to one another when not in mixed company. Not a lot of equivocation here, not much pussyfooting around or going out of my way to be delicate with anyones feelings.*

You know, far be it from me to blast someone for their tone. Heck, it’s against my politics. But quite frankly, the problem with this isn’t your tone, it’s the fact that your logic is faulty, and your assumption that that’s the only problem people are going to have is pretty frigging arrogant.

*Men. You’re fat and soft. That is your fault. Not someone elses. Hit the gym. Get a P90X program. Stop eating all that damn sugar and corn syrup. Whatever. Just take care of it, and take care of it yourself.*

Yes, because twue weal domwy menz are immune to the realities of being fat! They always have enough money for food that’s both nutritious and not fattening, and there’s always a place to buy it. If they’re mobility-impaired, the outside world is always accessible and perfect for excercise, because god knows a lack of access for disabled people doesn’t exist. And of course they have no genetic predisposition to being fat, that would be so much less plausible than that genetic predisposition to being thin that keeps me around 98 pounds no matter what I do.

Oh, and they never have thyroid problems or anything like that.
Nope, they exist in an invisible shell that defends against all possible causes of being fat, right?

*Your Mommy may love you unconditionally, but no one else does.*

Apparently abusive parents don’t exist now.

*Nut up. No one expects you to be Jack LaLanne (google it, kid), but If you can’t at least half assed take care of yourself, what the hell makes you think anyone else would want you to take care of them?*

Yes, weal twue domwy menz have reality-warping powers of incredible magnitude, allowing them to care for themselves as you define it when it is completely impossible! Also, that’s some nice ableism you got there. I suppose that none of the men you speak of have disabilities rendering them incapable of self-care, huh? I guess you’d just vanish in a puff of smoke if you happened to gain such a disability.

*You’re dressed like your clothes came off the bathroom floor. This is your fault. Not societys’.*

Yeah, it’s not like society is capitalist or anything.

*You don’t have to have or spend a lot of money to dress better than you do.*

Really? Prove it.

*My Grandfather worked the farm, drove a milk delivery truck when he was 14. He grew up to be a San Francisco dock worker in the Pile Drivers Union. He built docks, railroads, was a carpenter, 72 through 77 he was a site foreman working on the Alaskan pipe line. he worked up until two months before his death. A 40 hour work week was to him, semi retirement. Yet when he took his wife out for dinner, he was dressed like he was on his way to an awards ceremony.*
*He was never anything other than blue collar, but even if he was just taking his pre-teen grandkids to Round Table pizza in Dublin Ca, he wore slacks, cowboy boots, a dress shirt and a bolo tie.*

Does his fuckin’ ghost hand out clothes-money to the poorly dressed? Because that’s the only way what your grandfather did way back when proves anything about how expensive or easy it is to dress well. It’s not enough to see someone meet a standard and then demand everyone reaches it because you think that would be great, you have to actually consider if it’s realistic, and in many cases, it isn’t.

*Some of you asshats can’t be bothered to tuck in your “no fear” T-shirt into your poorly fitting jeans on a date.*

Oh, the horror.

*Your boss or coworkers don’t really respect you? Women don’t respect you? How you present yourself is probably a good place to start, dickhead. Man up.*

Yes, man up and produce money from thin air or waste it on superficialities whether you can afford it or not! Making bad decisions to please shallow others is what real domly menz do, don’t you know.

*Grow the hell up and take out the piercings, stop with the stupid ass tattoos (they stopped being cool, novel or unique 20 years ago. Fuckin’ let it die, already) and for Pete’s sake, get a damn hair cut.*

Translation: I don’t like body modification or long hair, so obviously not having any of that is part of being a twue domwy man. I regret to inform you that other people are not clockwork automata, and have likes and dislikes that may not match yours. Therefore, this demand is arbitary and self-centred.

*You want to be treated like a Man?*

What exactly is this supposed to entail, anyway? I can think of cultures where being treated like a man involves having to have a coming-of-age ceremony where you wrap an ant-filled tube around your dick.

*You can start by looking like one.*

Do you have any, any reason for this beyond your personal dislike?
Anything at all? Because if you’re going to levy down standards on other people, you need more than that, or you’ve all the authority of me if I wrote about, for example, how blonde hair is horrible and if you want to be a real twue etc etic, you should dye it.

*Maybe if you start to look like one,*

There isn’t even the flimsiest excuse, like a correlation between manhood and being free of tattoos, to justify this. Defining what things supposedly look like does not work that way, and pretending otherwise just makes you look silly.

*you’ll start to feel like one, and if you feel like one maybe you’ll start to act like one. And when you act like one, you’ll be one and when you are one, you’ll be treated like one.*

When I look like undefined, arbitary thing, I’ll feel and act like one despite none of what that actually is or involves being defined, so it effectively means nothing, so you are effectively trying to entice people with nothing?

*And spare me the feel good-ism bullshit about the clothes not making the Man. That’s an intellectually vapid cop out crock of shit, even if your mommy told you otherwise.*

Yes, that’s why you’ve refuted it so…
Oh. Oh, you didn’t.

*Stop hanging out with Women, and start dating them. Stop treating them the same way you do your friends.*

Yes, just about halve your pool of potential friends and treat even women who aren’t interested or never will be like potential partners. Hand out those rapist vibes, dudes! Women love that, apparently.

*They deserve that much respect and consideration.*

.. Despite the fact that very few women consider that respectful or considerate. Yay, treating people like automatons! If I consider it particularly respectful to punch people in the face, does that make it so? Because I’ve got as much proof it is as you have.

*They are not your buddies.*

Yes, they’re thoughtless automatons who lack the self-determination to be anything you’d rather they’re not, huh? Additionally, gay & asexual/aromantic people apparently don’t exist, because that would impede your little fantasy.

*You wonder why a Woman does not regard you as her alpha? Because you don’t treat her like you are.*

Again, thoughtless automatons. You hit the right switch and then bam, alpha. No lack of interest, no personal dislike and no man-forbidding orientation can get in the way.

*She’s not your “buddy”. She is not a “dude”. She is a*

Mindless automaton?


Oh, another undefined term with added random ungrammatical caps.

*Act like a Man, and treat her like a Lady, even when she does not act like a lady Herself.*

Let’s try this again. “Act like a blank and treat her like a blank even when she does not act like a blank herself”. That’s what I’m reading until you define this.

*Stop swearing like Andrew Dice Clay around Women, even if they are themselves speaking that way. If you take your own standards for yourself up a level, it WILL rub off on how others view you.*

Of course. Mindless automatons, right? Nobody actually LIKES swearing and so on, because this is your fantasy overlay for reality.

*The loss of distinction between Men and Women has also meant*

Less people being forced into arbitary and unscientific boxes.

*a loss of novelty, mystery and mutual consideration.*

Yes, obviously! It’s not like anyone could feel otherwise, because, you guessed it, mindless automatons. As in, everyone but you apparently is one.

*Be a Man and reclaim those things.*

Be a blank and reclaim those things.

*Got “friend zoned”? There is a reason.*

Yes, it’s because you’re a sexist and the friend zone is an invention of whiny, entitled, self-professed nice guys.

*It’s because that is what you made of yourself. The Lady didn’t “Friend zone” you, YOU “friend zoned” you.*


*Stop treating her like she is one of the fella’s, and she’ll stop acting like one of them.*

Because… All together now… MINDLESS AUTOMATONS!

*And just maybe, she’ll also stop treating you like you’re one of the girls.*

Because, again, women who simply prefer friendship to relationships with a man under any circumstance do not exist. It’s all a matter of men pushing the wrong buttons on their subby dispenser.

*Time Management. If you are over 20 and still own a “Game console”, you should have your ass beaten. If you have time enough to use a game console, you REALLY aught to have your ass beaten.*

Because having a hobby that you don’t like is worthy of traumatizing violence.
Any justification for why gaming is worse than other hobbies?

*Put it down, turn it off, go outside.*

Why is that innately better?

*Visit with your family.*

Because abusive families don’t exist, duh.
Sing it with me, folks; mindless automatons!

*Go do volunteer stuff or something. Clean your damn house. Whatever. Anything besides sit there like a baked potato spacing out passively on the couch.*

Which is totes different to you sitting there at the computer while you typed this. Because it’s not like games can inspire you or anything, or you can’t create things in some of them. Also, apparently being a pro gamer or games journalist is no longer a thing. No talents in things you dislike should ever be exploited, huh?

*Urban culture. Just knock it off. It wasn’t cool back when it was cool, so let it die, too. To “chill” is not an activity or a hobby. An inverted, backwards peace sign makes you look like a dickhead in photographs. If you like rap music, fine. Whatever. That does not however, require that you go about behaving like an advertisement for Eminem.*

Eh, I can’t say I know enough about this to respond.

*Man the fuck up.*

Blank the fuck up.

*Stiff upper lip, what what.*

You know, I had a friend who couldn’t repress facial expressions due to facial injury. Her upper lip couldn’t exactly be stiff, and I doubt she lacks a male equivalent or ten thousand. Did I mention yet that your idea is destructive and fails to account for diversity of any kind?

*Get the sand out of your vagina and fuckin’ deal.*

Cool implied misogyny. Other than that, I lack a comment.

*Learn how to manage your finances. Why the hell should any Woman trust you to provide if you can’t balance your checkbook? I mean,, seriously.*

You’re contradicting yourself.
Oh, and shitting all over people with cognitive disabilities, but I suppose an utter lack of awareness about any of that should be expected by now.

*Clean your living space. If you respect yourself and your home, she’ll respect you as well.*

I’m running out of ways to say you talk like women are thoughtless automatons.

*Hygiene. Here is a good rule to go by: If you would like her to suck it (Whatever “it” is), shave it and wash it before presenting it.*

Other than some women liking hair, I can scarcely argue with this.

*It’s responsibility, not privilege. Being head of household means responsibility, not privilege. Don’t waste time on what you “get” to do to her or have her do, instead worry on making sure you deserve those things. It is not “Do I get a blowjob? “, it’s “Do I deserve a blowjob? “. And having a cock is not enough reason to get it sucked.*

I’d do it on more of a “does she feel like giving a blowjob”, but whatever suits you.

*So Man up.*

So blank up.

*Pull your damn pants up, watch your language in mixed company,*

Because mixed company never likes swearing.

*treat her like a Lady, dress like a Gentleman,*

treat her like a blank, dress like a blank.

*work more often than not, stop screwing off wasting time, deal with your problems instead of whining about them, be responsible with your money,*

Unless you need clothes to appease shallow people, in which case don’t be responsible and buy them whether you can afford them or not because this dude’s grandfather had the money.

*your home and yourself and for fucks sake, face the fact that it’s NOT all about YOU.*

I’m sorry, but that last one seems a bit ironic, given that you just laid down your personal likes and dislikes as universal laws for being a real twue domwy menz.

About chassisbird

Chassisbird is autistic, trans, a survivor of abuse, possibly gray-asexual, queer, polyromantic and very into D/s. It uses it/hir pronouns, tends towards apathy and would like to resemble a spider much more closely.
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